I need to ask questions after having this AH HA moment
Our family was in Florida recently. I went to the pool restroom with a one piece bathing suit and cover up. To my inebriated self I thought that I was not pulling down this bathing suit, as I squatted and moved the crotch material to the side. Just like that. It was brilliant! But, I needed to ask questions.Why did I just discover our ability as women to do this!?
I totally forgot about it and then on my way to the bank. My mother video calls me, I answer and prop the phone on my dashboard because I remember now I have to tell her about herself! I ask her where she is and what she is doing. She tells me she is at the dealership with her husband. And then I go in for the kill. Not really the kill, but I can tell that she wasn’t prepared nor was she in the mood. She has five crazy children so she never knows what to expect!
So, I decided to ask her questions
With a snarky ass face and eyes on the road, I say, “Ma, you could have done better for me as a child”! She has that “here we go” face and then says, “yea I know”. Her face is all red and she is on READY! I come to a red light and my own cheeks are red and I smile big.
We giggle because she knows I’m about to say something crazy! I did! But, I was having a moment of feeling sheltered and lost until we spoke about my concern. “Ma, you could have told me that when wearing a one piece bathing suit… you pull the crotch piece to the side and release the bladder”!
We break out into laughter
I can tell she is relieved that I’m not coming for her throat for something important. At the age of 35, I’m still having lightbulb moments and always take it back to my mom. She says, ” I don’t do that. I take the whole suit down”. We continue laughing and now I feel accomplished. I also feel reassured, again, that my mom really did what she knew with us.
Before hitting the publish button, I let Senior Hija read this as I usually do. I expect that she has been taking down the bathing suit in order to use the bathroom. But now, she knows another technique. Yep, I am proud to teach her a short cut that won’t hurt anybody.
My learning lesson for today
Let go of what you think was bad, and try to communicate or else you will never know their truth. This of course is a soft and laughable moment, but just like that I learned something about my mother again. Going forward, I will continue to trust that I can talk to her about issues that will matter more. In finding myself and my parenting style, I try to make sure she knows I do not intend to embarrass her or make her feel bad for anything she has done. But because of her, I am certain of how I do and don’t want to raise my children. We may not always agree but we respect each other in the process.