For the Parents, Mental Health Fitness

Six ways to soothe stressful emotions while expanding your family

Soothe stressful emotions, right now

Enough time has passed to let me know that I need to make some new adulting and parenting adjustments in order to soothe stressful emotions.  It’s been a little over four months that I have held the name badge,  “Mom of Three”. I thought I was doing well. Then I hear my inner voice say, “No, Momma Vante stop lying, you are ignoring all the signs”.  The taxes taken from growing this family have left me in an emotional deficit. All of my emotional dollars are gone. The piggy bank is broke. I even have a line of credit for emotional spending fees. I’m in debt to myself.  New rules and structure is what I need.

Transitions while growing can be rocky

As my family changes, I want to be able to transition in a smooth manner without so much emotional tolling. I have chosen to keep an identity aside from parenting. Not doing so in the past had profound emotional effects.  Adulting and parenting are not mutually exclusive. So, I have to unplug from one at times to do the other one successfully. Usually, I have to unplug from parenting to give myself a boost of confidence. But, there are times when I just have to parent while disconnecting from adulting.  That emotional space does not always give me comfort. While reflecting recently, I have found that I have been overwhelmed, and not communicating effectively to those who are able to help me. I have not asked for help. My family and friends have taken some bruising from my snaps. I need a break.

My worlds are colliding

In my parenting world: I am home with the baby five days a week. This schedule is ideal as it allows me to be a mom, full hands on deck. But, being at home alone with a baby all day until my husband gets home isn’t easy. My daughters get home in the evening at the same time my husband does and that’s when the emotional fires are set. Those fires have my emotional dollars in red. There are three children to two adults but to be honest, they cling to me as if daddy is not home.  I am sure a lot of my parents can relate to this.

In my adulting world: I work two days a week, I start grad school in May, I write for this blog site, and I connect with social media daily. Working two days a week is great, but when I start grad school in May, I am going to need to be ready to parent which is a priority while adulting on the back end. Writing for this blog has been cathartic but when I plug the blog and myself into social media, the emotional spending is like dropping a television into the bathtub.

Based on reflection and feedback, below are some tips to help soothe stressful emotions:

  1. Deal with depression proactively which includes seeking therapy, managing medication(s) appropriately, making a routine to help get out of the bed, take a walk and/or exercise
  2. Communicate with your partner about emotional spending. Be brutally honest.
  3. Don’t hide from friends who are more than willing to help navigate ways to soothe your emotions
  4. Journal for therapy and schedule connections with social media.
  5. Unplug from “hectic schedules and life” more often than not.
  6. Plan “me” time

Do you have any tips about parenting and adulting in healthy ways?

Leave a comment, connect with me on social media or send me an email. I would love to hear your feedback!


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